DUE TO MARKET CONDITIONS—and the fact that someone needs to take charge—I decided to identify as a cat to infiltrate their secretive world.

Equipped with my cat mask, fluffy ears, and a hefty dose of canine logic, I’m ready to claw my way to the top as a LEGIT cat, blending effortlessly with the degens who thrive on green and bullish charts.

Watch me purr-fect this!